Thinking Outloud

    Several things can bring out the worst in me. One of those things is math. When combined with depression, it can be disastrous. It's kinda weird that I dislike math, because I've always thought of myself as the scientific, analytical, rational type...

    When I was younger, I wanted to be a scientist. I wanted to get a whole bunch of diplomas and become a learned scholar. I wanted a desk job with a computer and lots of important papers and stamps and stuff like that.

    I even started playing chess. Actually, I still do play chess a little bit, but now I realise that I see the game more as a form of art than a science. And I like science (specifically biology) because it's great to explore and learn about God's wonderful creation - the ultimate art. I really love music - just listening to a good song and letting my spirit sing along. I love books... not so much the textbook-kind anymore, but the books which are written by great authors, in which the words flow and weave together in marvelous synthesis, the plot unfolds in beautiful harmony and majesty, and feelings are unlocked and released.

    It's interesting... I'd always thought myself the scientific, analytical, rational type, but when caught up in the arts, instead of thinking with my mind, I can just feel with my whole being instead. Which is better? They both have their strengths and weaknesses. I don't think either one is better per se, but the latter is definitely more enjoyable. Which is why I hate math.